Never

NEVER

I used to think of it from time to time when I was young...

What if.  What if my mother and father died? What if I was all alone?

But those thoughts were cast adrift to the murky waters where I did not set sail.

"Don't worry," my parents told me.  "We won't die."

"Never!" I beseeched.

They wrapped their arms around me and I felt reassured...safe.

The parental lie we tell our children:  innocent, well-meaning.

When it happens, when we catch them in that lie we forget that they told us. 

We forgive them this untruth because we know that there was no other way...not then.

But now.  Just now, I remember.  You promised! 

You said, "We won't die!"

Now what? I feel the glimmer of the small betrayal.

My inner child remembers.

But...I reconcile and move on.

I am an adult.  I am independent, self-sufficient, secure.

My children asked.

My grandchildren ask now.

"Don't worry," I say.  "I will never leave you."

It is not a lie.  I will surround them with memories of me.  

I will give them love that will always remain.

In a hundred ways I will always be with them.

Their thoughts, their actions, their mannerisms,

Their very biology!

I realize how strong an imprint we make,

Even when we don't know it.

I look around and remember.

Here is a photo.  There is a gift.

I smile and see my father's expression in my face.

I blink and see a glimmer of my mother's eyes.
A favorite food, a flower, a painting.

My mother...my father. Everywhere.

And then I know that my parents told the truth.