Am I happy?

An automated phone survey from my health care provider asked me if I was happy (among other questions).  Happy?  Hmmm....well I lost lots of sleep last night with my mother's tromping around and calling out to us that she was awake.  Happy?  I was concerned over the continuing diminished mental capacity she exhibits.  Happy?  I worry about everything from hangnails to the state of the world.  Happy?  My clothes are too tight on me and I neither have the desire or will power to lose weight right now.  Happy?  I had to think about my answer.  There was no time.  The annoying Artificial Intelligence pressed me to answer.  I had to pick a number between 1 and 5.  I had to review , assess, and decide.  I replied "2".  NO!  I should have said "4!"   I wanted to explain.  I wanted to talk to a real person and tell her about my life.  I wanted to be heard.    I yearned for the opportunity to say what was troubling me.

"You see, it's my mother," I wanted to tell the computerized voice.  "She's  got Alzheimer's.  It's very difficult for us right now.  We take care of her.  We handle all of her needs.  It is very sad to watch her gradual decline and to be truly happy."

"Have you experienced depression in the past month?"

"Well of course I have!  Didn't I just tell you about my mother?"

"Have you had thoughts of suicide in the past month?"

"Now you're just being silly.  Life is too important.  I have way too much to live for.  I have a wonderful life.  Oh sure there are some speed bumps but I am so fortunate to have a loving family, a fantastic husband,  health, a good mind (some might dispute this!) and a perfect memory.  (Okay...I took artistic license here.)

"Have you been hospitalized, suffered a heart attack; do you have diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure?  Has your husband left you for another woman...a younger, cuter, thinner model?  Are you able to take yourself to the grocery store, to meetings, to the bathroom?  Are you totally dependent on someone else? Are you sitting on a street corner begging for food?  Are you fearful that you might awaken to bombs exploding around you? Are you an orphan? Are you wandering in the wasteland eating grub worms?"

"Oh my God!  Stop already.   I get it.  I am a 5 on the happiness scale.  I'm sorry.  I was mistaken.  I AM happy!  I don't care if I miss a little sleep to be able to spend more time with my mother.  I don't care if she annoys me with some of her bad habits and lack of understanding.  It really doesn't matter because I know that I am getting an opportunity that many do not have. I cherish the moments I still have with her.  Happy? Yes.  Grateful?  Yes...very, very grateful.