Wednesday 10/21
I took just a moment to be...to just be. I relaxed and focused my attention in a room
filled with noises. My mother was
chewing loudly in the kitchen. Normally
this would irritate me but today it reminded me of the love I have for
her. This sweet woman who was my very
best friend deserves to chew loudly. She
has earned the right to do exactly as she chooses. She has been there for me all of my
life. She has cared for me, sacrificed
for me, listened to me, and 'endured' me.
It is time for me to return the favor.
I know the term pay it forward (and I do that) but I need to remember to
pay it back as well. She will not
ask. She would NEVER ask! She is the
'giver' and always has been. Even now,
she wants to do for herself. I will help
her...gently and carefully, with respect, care, and love. Yes!
She deserves that. She has earned
that.
I am reminded of all of the work she has created for
me. I think about this for a moment and
remember how it was when my children were young. That was work too. I did complain but took it in stride
as part of my life decision. Hard work
is not the issue. It is the joy I
receive from being able to care for another human being.
The new puppy? Yes...that
was lots of hard work too. There were messes
to clean up but there were also many reasons to find laughter, smiles, joy, and
pleasure.
Life is filled with interesting twists and turns. There are myriad challenges. Today, I am grateful for the challenge and
thankful for the fact that it comes in a cute little package of a sweet old
woman filled with the innocence of a young child with no memory of past hurts
or grievances, no grudges, and no hidden agendas. She wears a smile on her face and sits
quietly. She doesn't interrupt. She
moves to the family room and sits off to the side
waiting...waiting...waiting. She doesn't
ask for anything. I offer to turn on the
TV and she thanks me appreciatively. I
turn to her and give her a quick hug and tell her I love her. Her face is transformed immediately. It is total and unconditional love. I can learn so much from her.
10/22
I was trying to take a minute to focus on the moment and
while doing so, was competing with all of the noises of the household. It was frustrating and annoying. I focused instead on my inner feelings. There was an agitation that was building up
inside my body. I could feel the
constriction in my chest and a tightness in my stomach. Until I had taken inventory of my feelings I
was unaware of the stress I was feeling.
I did a quick deep breathing exercise
to relax. It made a world of difference.
I began to realize the importance of
doing this. In a far more relaxed state,
I was able to pay less attention to the distractions. I began to appreciate all that was causing
the noise. I thought about silence for
a moment. (It is highly overrated.) Having the noise, the bustle, the activity is
lively, invigorating and challenging.
How much better it is than being bored!
I like to challenge myself...to continue to grow and learn. I am grateful to have a life that is
interesting, and active. How terrible it
would be to live with monotony! Staying home more these days, I have an
opportunity to observe what it could be like to sit for hours upon hours with
nothing to do, and know that I will always look for things that will keep my
mind occupied, my thoughts stimulated, and my life filled with myriad sounds,
distractions, activities, and problems to solve. There is nothing bad about problems. It keeps my mind working...looking for
solutions...finding ways to work things out.
I am grateful for everything that life has to offer.
I am reminded of the expression (something I used just the
other day) "Life
Happens". This can be used as an
excuse or as a celebration. Today I choose
to use it in a positive way. Yes...life happens! I wouldn't have it any other way. I am thankful for my life. I embrace it--all of it even the lowest of
lows. It reminds me that I AM
alive. I AM learning and improving
every day. I AM surviving. I look back at where I was...how easy things
were, and feel a sense of accomplishment.
There is a certain exhilaration in knowing that I can do this. Oh yes, I
will complain, grumble and rant sometimes.
However, I am glad I can stop for just one minute to notice how far I
have come.
No comments:
Post a Comment