I am a writer. That's
difficult to say when I'm so busy being a caregiver for my mother who is 99
years old and has had Alzheimer's for 15 years. Mom lives with us. She is in advanced stages now but was
exhibiting signs of Alzheimer's even while my husband and I cared for my father
who also had Alzheimer's. No one...NO ONE
is prepared for this! There's no
caregiver's manual that tells us how to do this job. I decided that as a writer it might help
others to write about caregiving in the
non-clinical, in the trenches, personal experience, kind of way. I have found ways to help myself out of my
depression, anger, denial, impatience, sadness, and frustration. I've discovered so many things to help me
through the most difficult job I have ever experienced. How could I do anything BUT write about this to
help others? My latest book, The Memory Keeper, is the fourth in a the series
of our journey and experience dealing
with the devastating disease and condition. It was a cathartic process to share
my words, my thoughts, my emotions. They
are sometimes raw, sometimes irreverent, often loving. I am resolved and accepting of what is to be,
in a philosophical kind of way; but I also see the humor in some of the events
that lead us there. Because of my
writing style and the way I deal with the often taboo subjects (that one simply
doesn't discuss in polite society!) many others have written to me thanking me
for my candid discussion of these difficult issues. One reader who attended a book signing
proclaimed that my books were like her own personal therapy sessions. Many have thanked me for giving them
permission to laugh through their tears.
In my book, The Memory Keeper, I take it upon myself to record
and retain the legacy that my mother leaves as I grapple with my own emotions
and difficulties of caring for her. Her
memories are lost...imprisoned in the disease-ridden brain that doesn't allow
for thoughts, speech or even physical control.
I alone must pass down the family stories. I alone must chronicle the life of the
wonderful, beautiful, elegant, vibrant woman who used to reside in the body
that sits quietly now in our family room staring at the television without
understanding. The weighty responsibility
of caregiving reminds me that while we are still able we must make the most of
each moment. We must embrace the
opportunities when we can to share stories, to ask questions, to spend time
with each other, and to cherish life while we can. I am resolved...yes. It is too late for tears. It is time to smile about my mother's life well-lived.
No comments:
Post a Comment