A Short Conversation with my Mom

Several of my friends have suggested that I have a conversation with my mother about, um...well... transitioning. It's not an easy discussion.  I mean, I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was encouraging her to exit...to go towards the light.  However, she does seem a bit stuck here.  She's not having fun but doesn't know how to exit.  Mom goes through the day, a zombie.  There is little cognition and no interaction.  However, this afternoon she seemed to have a lucid moment so I seized the opportunity. Mom was sitting on the porch rocking.  I stepped outside to have a little talk and maybe get some clarity on 'why' she feels the need to hang around even if her spirit seems somewhere else. I don't know what I was expecting but thought that it was worth speaking those words often left unspoken.  I figured that she, who was closer to communicating with the great beyond might have something profound to say.

Me:  Do you ever think about dying?

Mom: No.

Me: Why not?

Mom: I'm too busy.  I don't think about those things. (I had to laugh since she does nothing but stare at nothing, eat, and sleep)

Me: Are you afraid of dying?

Mom: NO.

Me: What happens when you die?

Mom:  Shrugs

Me: (changing the subject)  Do you  ever see your husband, Nick?

Mom: No

Me: Where is he?

Mom: I guess he's in Heaven.

Me:  So does he come visit you?

Mom: NO

Me: Where's your mother?

Mom:  Maybe in Heaven.

Me: So does she come visit you?

Mom: No

Me: So does anyone in Heaven come see you?

Mom:  Shaking head.

(This is not going well.)

Me: Where do you think you will go when you die?

Mom: I don't know.  I don't think about those things.

Me: Why not?

Mom: I'm too busy to think about those things.

Me: What keeps you so busy?

Mom: (shrugging.)  Whatever is going on.  You know, lots of things.

Me: Okay then, I can see you're busy sitting on the porch, in the chair and rocking right now--staring at the trees.  I'll go back to work inside.  Thanks.  Good talk!

Mom returned to her rocking and staring.  Maybe that is why I don't hear her talking to 'unseen' people anymore.  She's just way too busy.