"Well
evidently before I get all full of myself for keeping track of
everyone's birthdays, I should double check for accuracy. So, I had the
gift, the greetings, everything ready to go and waited for the right
day to celebrate the birthday. She (you know who you are!) thanked me
as I gushed over the greetings, the moment, the day. I told others to
wish her happy birthday and we sang our best and loudest 'Happy birthday
to you...' only to find out it was the day before. Oops. To make
matters worse I insisted that I was right because it was on my calendar!
Hahahaha. Just a little embarrassed."
There followed comments about similar faux pas moments among my friends along with a comment that resonated with me, "Well, better late than never!"
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. Hmm...I wonder if that also applies to the time my husband and I got all dressed up to attend a party at his coworker's home. It was kind of quiet when we approached the house and we thought that it was strange that the attendees were so 'orderly' and also wondered about the absence of cars parked on the street. I asked my husband if he was sure of the date and time and he repeated the information back to me. Okay then...we knocked timidly on the door and waited. Finally, the host peaked around the small crack in the opened door and looked at us inquiringly. We noticed that his hair was tousled and he was wearing a pair of lounging pajamas. (I wondered about the kind of party this was!) Our bewildered host asked what we were doing there and when we appeared surprised by his question the 'host' added, "You're not here for the party, are you?"
"Why yes, we are," Skip replied.
His co-worker laughed and said, "Well, you missed it. It was yesterday!"
I shot one of those 'If-looks-could-kill' glares at my husband, handed off the present we had brought and made a hasty retreat to the car vowing that I would never rely on Skip to make any social arrangements again! However, I always get in trouble when I take on the holier than thou persona. I must continuously remind myself that I too am capable of small slip-ups. (Please don't tell Skip. I will never actually admit this out loud.)
Parties seem to be the areas of the most errors. I'm not sure why but this is our biggest failing. Wrong times, wrong addresses, and wrong attire are among the biggest blunders.
I am reminded of the invitation for a Halloween party where the call came to me and I told Skip that it was a costume party. (The hostess said that we should come dressed metaphysically because she was having a fortune teller come.) It goes without saying that Metaphysical wearing apparel is not something one finds in a special section of the department store but knowing that the hostess was a bit bizarre I figured that she would be done up in something outrageous, and we as her guests could not be party-poopers.
Okay then, an appropriate Halloween-type costume seemed in order. I planned what we would wear putting together my mid-eastern 'swami' like look while leaving Skip to figure out what he was going to do make himself look appropriately clad as an oracle. As the day of the party wore on, Skip was still not home from work and I thought that slapping together a costume for Skip was becoming less and less a possibility. When he finally got home there was only time for me to suggest that he wear a black turtleneck, black pants and I painted a THIRD eye on his forehead. (Get it? A third eye as in psychic!) Anyway, off we went to the party. As we approached the door I checked my robes, my jewelry, my headdress, and my heavy exotic makeup. I looked at Skip's simple but effective psychic self and congratulated myself on the paint job I did on his third eye. Smiling broadly the hostess opened the door. She was dressed in a pretty silk shirt and deep navy blue skirt embellished with embroidered moons and stars. I looked past her to see a room full of guests in cocktail attire. Puzzled, I asked, "Um...isn't this a costume party?"
"No!," she answered. "It's just that I was having a Fortune Teller so I thought that you might want to dress in more mystical kinds of clothes,"she explained laughing. "Oh!" she hastened to add. "You look fabulous. Why YOU could be our Fortune Teller too." I turned to look at Skip to see how he was reacting and all I could see was that darn third eye glaring at me! Quickly, Skip raised his index finger to his forehead and began scrubbing roughly at his painted eye. By the time he stepped inside he looked perfectly acceptable while I looked like some bizarre demented psychic. All night long, the guests asked if I was the Fortune Teller and after a while I grew weary of explaining the mistake. Meanwhile the REAL Fortune Teller was downstairs struggling with her readings. It seemed that our hostess had found someone who was less gifted in that department than the party guests would have liked. A few women confessed that they were offended by her readings and one guest actually burst into tears. That's when I made a decision to save the humiliation I was feeling and told people that I was the 'Upstairs Fortune Teller' and proceeded to tell fortunes all night long. "You will be taking a much-needed trip next year," I told a young man.
"Oh that's wonderful news. Where am I going?" he asked.
"Uh...uh...you will be traveling many miles. It is somewhere you really want to go. You will make this plan later." (How ambiguous was that?!)
All night long, people told others, "Oh, that lady is amazing. You should get a reading."
"I see money coming to you. It's not much but it will make you happy to have it. It will be sometime in the late Spring or early Summer of next year. You will be expecting it." (It was a safe bet that income tax refund will come through then!)
Ah. The moments of brilliance often overshadow those moments of humiliation! They do, however remind me that I have more funny stories of embarrassing moments than anyone I know. Don't get me started...I could be here all night!!!
There followed comments about similar faux pas moments among my friends along with a comment that resonated with me, "Well, better late than never!"
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. Hmm...I wonder if that also applies to the time my husband and I got all dressed up to attend a party at his coworker's home. It was kind of quiet when we approached the house and we thought that it was strange that the attendees were so 'orderly' and also wondered about the absence of cars parked on the street. I asked my husband if he was sure of the date and time and he repeated the information back to me. Okay then...we knocked timidly on the door and waited. Finally, the host peaked around the small crack in the opened door and looked at us inquiringly. We noticed that his hair was tousled and he was wearing a pair of lounging pajamas. (I wondered about the kind of party this was!) Our bewildered host asked what we were doing there and when we appeared surprised by his question the 'host' added, "You're not here for the party, are you?"
"Why yes, we are," Skip replied.
His co-worker laughed and said, "Well, you missed it. It was yesterday!"
I shot one of those 'If-looks-could-kill' glares at my husband, handed off the present we had brought and made a hasty retreat to the car vowing that I would never rely on Skip to make any social arrangements again! However, I always get in trouble when I take on the holier than thou persona. I must continuously remind myself that I too am capable of small slip-ups. (Please don't tell Skip. I will never actually admit this out loud.)
Parties seem to be the areas of the most errors. I'm not sure why but this is our biggest failing. Wrong times, wrong addresses, and wrong attire are among the biggest blunders.
I am reminded of the invitation for a Halloween party where the call came to me and I told Skip that it was a costume party. (The hostess said that we should come dressed metaphysically because she was having a fortune teller come.) It goes without saying that Metaphysical wearing apparel is not something one finds in a special section of the department store but knowing that the hostess was a bit bizarre I figured that she would be done up in something outrageous, and we as her guests could not be party-poopers.
Okay then, an appropriate Halloween-type costume seemed in order. I planned what we would wear putting together my mid-eastern 'swami' like look while leaving Skip to figure out what he was going to do make himself look appropriately clad as an oracle. As the day of the party wore on, Skip was still not home from work and I thought that slapping together a costume for Skip was becoming less and less a possibility. When he finally got home there was only time for me to suggest that he wear a black turtleneck, black pants and I painted a THIRD eye on his forehead. (Get it? A third eye as in psychic!) Anyway, off we went to the party. As we approached the door I checked my robes, my jewelry, my headdress, and my heavy exotic makeup. I looked at Skip's simple but effective psychic self and congratulated myself on the paint job I did on his third eye. Smiling broadly the hostess opened the door. She was dressed in a pretty silk shirt and deep navy blue skirt embellished with embroidered moons and stars. I looked past her to see a room full of guests in cocktail attire. Puzzled, I asked, "Um...isn't this a costume party?"
"No!," she answered. "It's just that I was having a Fortune Teller so I thought that you might want to dress in more mystical kinds of clothes,"she explained laughing. "Oh!" she hastened to add. "You look fabulous. Why YOU could be our Fortune Teller too." I turned to look at Skip to see how he was reacting and all I could see was that darn third eye glaring at me! Quickly, Skip raised his index finger to his forehead and began scrubbing roughly at his painted eye. By the time he stepped inside he looked perfectly acceptable while I looked like some bizarre demented psychic. All night long, the guests asked if I was the Fortune Teller and after a while I grew weary of explaining the mistake. Meanwhile the REAL Fortune Teller was downstairs struggling with her readings. It seemed that our hostess had found someone who was less gifted in that department than the party guests would have liked. A few women confessed that they were offended by her readings and one guest actually burst into tears. That's when I made a decision to save the humiliation I was feeling and told people that I was the 'Upstairs Fortune Teller' and proceeded to tell fortunes all night long. "You will be taking a much-needed trip next year," I told a young man.
"Oh that's wonderful news. Where am I going?" he asked.
"Uh...uh...you will be traveling many miles. It is somewhere you really want to go. You will make this plan later." (How ambiguous was that?!)
All night long, people told others, "Oh, that lady is amazing. You should get a reading."
"I see money coming to you. It's not much but it will make you happy to have it. It will be sometime in the late Spring or early Summer of next year. You will be expecting it." (It was a safe bet that income tax refund will come through then!)
Ah. The moments of brilliance often overshadow those moments of humiliation! They do, however remind me that I have more funny stories of embarrassing moments than anyone I know. Don't get me started...I could be here all night!!!
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